Wishing you the very best. Lots of love and support from Seattle, WA
~D. Uttech

A mom is a teacher to her daughter;
Be good, helpful to other people always treating them equally & have a positive attitude, try to make things right when they are wrong, know herself well, appreciate & know what her talents are, set goals for herself, be not afraid of working too hard to reach them.Have many interests to pursue, laugh & have fun every day, appreciate the beauty in all things, enter into friendships with good people, honor their friendships, be a good friend, use her intelligence all times, listen to her emotions & adhere to her values.

Be not afraid & stick to her beliefs, do not follow the majority when the majority is wrong, carefully plan a life for herself & follow her path, enter into a relationship with someone worthy of herself, love this person unconditionally with her body & mind, share with them what she has learned in her life. SMD

This… this is Stac… this is Stacey and Vanessa!

I read your struggles your currently facing through a Face book friend, and it broke my heart. Blood has little to do with who is the mommy who provides a loving nurturing home for a child. I cannot believe with the biological father’s record of domestic abuse, in front of his children no less, that any judge would allow him anywhere near this beautiful little girl. It breaks my heart that your beautiful little girl might be torn from your arms.

When I was in my early twenties, I was in a abusive relationship with my ex boyfriend. We had two children together. After we had the first child, he left me abused and pregnant. At the time my ex boyfriend made my life, as well as our small son’s life, a living hell. I wanted to put my second son up for adoption because of the violence, I was on welfare, and lived in a small trailer. I couldn’t afford to support the one child I had, and wanted a better life for my second child. My oldest son had many problems because of the violence, he reverted back to diapers, refused to talk, and was fearful because of the violence he had witness between my ex and I. I didn’t want my second son to be faced with the trauma and heartache my oldest son went through. I found an adoption agency, and even a family that I was interested in my son being adopted by. My ex boyfriend refused to sign over his rights. He threatened to take custody if I signed over my rights to our child.

He didn’t financially support his first son, he abused me in front of him, he made both of us live in fear. I used to think he would come over and kill me and Jesse. My second son could have had a wonderful life with two loving parents that could give him the life I couldn’t. But my ex was a selfish, and refused to sign over his rights, even though it was in child’s best interest.

I kept Justin, my second son, out of fear of my abusive ex boyfriend, and his family getting custody of him. So out of fear I kept him. I strongly disagree with protecting the biological rights of unfit parents, such as your daughter’s biological father. If he cannot support his children financially, and currently doesn’t have custodial custody of his other children, than he shouldn’t have any rights to this little girl. The biological mother did what she thought was best for her child, and gave her to a family that could give her a safe loving home.

Men like this make me so angry. He is selfish, hateful, evil, and only thinks of himself. Just like my immature ex boyfriend. My oldest son eventually lived with my parents because that was the only place he ever felt safe. He is now clinically depressed, and struggling in school. Justin, my second son was lucky, because he doesn’t remember the abuse, because he was young enough to remember when it stopped. He has had to live many years while I financially struggled, and has a learning disability I think was caused by the stress of being pregnant with an abusive boyfriend. It took me years to become somewhat emotionally healthy after being in an abusive relationship, and it is hard on your children while your struggling with your own demons. Both boys had to live with an absentee father, that rarely bothered to see them much less, financially support them. Currently he owes in child support close to 70,000 dollars.

In cases of domestic abuse, a history of being a dead beat parent by not financially supporting your children, or the parent having alcohol or drug problems, I think that the father’s or mother’s rights should be terminated, if that child can find a loving adoptive home. How can tearing a child from the only parents she knows be in her best interest? The mother of the biological father cannot be any better than living with him! To this day, I don’t understand. The sad thing is too, that many states are cracking down on domestic violence, and removing children from the homes of women who refuse to leave abusive spouses. So, what I don’t understand, why hasn’t he been declared an unfit parent in this situation, if it sounds like he has already been found that for his current children?

My prayers are with you. I admire the biological mother for having the strength to provide her biological child with a loving, caring mother like you. I hope the court system doesn’t fail to do the right thing, and keep her beautiful girl with you. My heart bleeds for you, and what your facing. Be strong, and trust in God that He will see you and your daughter through this.

My best wishes for you and your daughter,

Steffanie