Don’t let them take my child.
My name is Stacey Doss. I have been put on this Earth for one reason. To love my daughter Vanessa. I adopted her two years ago, at birth. In that time, I’ve watched her bloom into a happy, healthy, intelligent child. I am her mother. She is my child. The bond is unmistakable. Irreversible. Unbreakable.
Until now.
Vanessa’s biological father, who has been convicted of domestic violence multiple times and has a child endangerment charge on his record, is using the Ohio and California court systems to rip Vanessa from my arms and have her placed in foster care, a man who already has four children, none of which live with him.
I’ve been fighting to keep Vanessa ever since I’ve brought her home. I’ve depleted my savings and endured a lifetime’s worth of stress and suffering. And you know what? It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that Vanessa is cared for. Provided for. And loved – every minute of every day.
But now even that is in jeopardy. Children’s services has said they are coming to my house to take Vanessa away. Into foster care. Into the hands of strangers. Two psychologists who are experts in reactive attachment disorder have spent time with us and written reports on the devastating effects a separation would have on Vanessa, breaking her heart and spirit for the rest of her life.
Please, I’m asking you to help me save my daughter. With your support. Your time. Your donation. And when this is over and Vanessa is safe, I plan to spend the rest of my life working to make sure this does not happen to another child, another mother, ever again.
I’ve raised her. Nurtured her.
How can one mother fight the system? Please, help me fight for my child.
Please contact your legislators and urge them to enact laws protecting children in these cases. You can sign our petition here.
Happy Second Birthday Vanessa!
Happy First Birthday Vanessa!
Stacey,
I’m so sorry to hear about this and I hope you are able to achieve justice. I don’t understand how they can take her – was the adoption not legal – did he not give consent? Would love to hear more.
Apologies.
Cindy
Stacey, please know that I will do all possible to help you. I have seen what a devoted mother you have been to Vanessa, along with your hard-fought efforts to protect her. Stay strong and keep fighting no matter how many unjust curveballs the courts throw your way.
Stacey, I get so emotional and even cry every time I think of you and Venessa being separated. I don’t understand our legal system. This is one case we can see how much of a failing legal system it is when something so tragic as this can happen. Everything you did you did with faith and love for Venessa. I’ve seen many families spend time together and yours is one of those special ones that seem to tug at everyones heart. I’m a father of two beautiful, now young adults and could never imagine having to go through what you and Venessa are having to deal with. Everyone I’ve shared your story with agrees that this is a crime, unjust and should not be allowed to take place. I’ve been fortunate enough to spend quality time with the two of you. You are Vanessa’s Mom, the only Mother she knows and the only one true love and stable rock she has come to believe in… Taking her from you, separating the two of you is going to destroy both of you. Were is there justice in that? What is wrong when no one can see that this little girl has a life with you, the only life she knows and loves. I will pray everyday Stacey that God and his army of angles comes to battle for you, to keep you and Venessa the family your supposed to be, the only family she has come to know and love. I love the two of you so much…. Keep fighting for what is right, you can’t loose and you will save so many others from experiencing the same thing by sharing your story openly. You are one amazing woman with one amazing daughter. You are Vanessa’s Mother and you always will be… Never loose sight of that…. Venessa needs you right now to keep going no matter what… Please let me know if there is anything I can do… I believe in you and so do so many other people all around the world right now.
Stacey, as a fellow adoptive mother, I can’t even imagine the pain you are feeling right now. I support you. Keep fighting. And, let’s rally the troops. Best, Liana
Dear Stacey and Vanessa, I am outraged that our legal system would even consider taking a child from her loving mother and extended family of devoted grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and countless friends. I am even more disgusted that the courts would consider taking any child from its loving home to place it in the hands of a birth father who has time after time proven that he is abusive and not a fit parent. The fact he does not have custody of his other children shows us that he is not a fit parent and does not care about his kids. Vanessa, like every child, deserves a safe, loving environment. I am praying that the courts do the right thing and that this case helps change things for other adoptive parents/children. Love, Teri
Hi Stacey. Vanessa is adorable and obviously has been thriving in your care. I think we should all write to the courts as those letters will become part of the file. If we call or email, they may not become part of the file. We are with you in the fight. Keep up the good work. Love to all. Pat
I hope Vanessa stays with you. Love you Stacey and Vanessa.
Katie Eike
Please know you have my support and letters. I too have adopted and had a bio father try to establish paternity with the intent to parent from PRISON. I still have a hard time understanding how the system can justify destroying a child’s psyche while justifying it as “keeping families together at all costs.” As we have seen with some cases in LA last year, that can lead to the death of children.
I will stand with you and fight. I found you through Diane Forsythe, let me know if I can help you in any other way.
Stacey, we are with you every step of the way. You are the best mommy V could ever hope for.
Stacey, we are with you every step of the way. You are the best mommy V could ever want.
Hey Stacey,
My heart breaks for you! I will help spread the word about your story so you and Vanessa can finally live in peace!
If he wants to put her in foster care even though you have adopted her, Why could you be her foster mother until everything is resolved?
Stacey – heard about this horrible situation from my friends Liana and Linda. Please know I’m thinking of you, and sending a letter in Monday’s mail to the courts. You’re clearly a great mom. When you’re feeling low, know that you’ve got a bunch of other moms who are thinking of you and supporting you.
Stacy,
I am behind you 110 per cent of being a FANTASTIC MOMMIE. Our prayers are with you and your family. It was good to see you at Vannessa B/D party. Keep your chin up high and keeping fighting for Vannessa sake.
Who wouldn’t want that adoreable, happy little doll?! Good luck to you. You are obviously doing a great job. Love and good have to win.
sending my thoughts and prayers your way to you & your little girl. She is yours, you love & take care of her..no one should be able to rip you two apart. The best to your family.
THE BEST OF LUCK TO YOU & YOUR BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL
Stacey & Vanessa,
We are all thinking of you and have sent prayer after prayer up the big guy to do what is right in his name. When I adopted Clarissa and was pregnant with the twins, I thought, will I love Clarissa as much as I love my own biological children. Then I picked her up at the hospital and I fell in love like never before. Then I wondered if I would love my biological children as much as I loved Clarissa. Now I know there is no difference in the love one has for their children. Vanessa is a very special girl and she is so lucky to have so many people love her. But we all know, nobody will ever love her the way you do. Our heart and thoughts are with you!
Stacey,
I’ve been too busy at work and some how had not heard all the details of your custody battle. I can’t even express how shocking the case is … I’m coming in so late as I guess next week is a big day. I promise to watch more carefully, pray more diligently… you are the best and I pray for the peace that passes all understanding, keep your heart and mind strong.
my heart is breaking for you ~ your daughter is a gift from God ~ i pray that you remain together.
Your story really touched my heart. My mother adopted at 2 years old from Catholic Social Services of Detroit. My adoptive grandparents would have her home at birth- but a legal battle between her birth parents prevented her from being adopted and left her alone in an orphanage for the first two years of her life. ADOPTION IS ABOUT WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILD. This case is clear. You have earned the right to love and care for this little girl, and that is a right that her father forfeited when he decided to act violently and carelessly against the mother(s) of his children. Stacey, I pray that your daughter will remain safe with you and I pledge to write a letter to each court – every week until your case is resolved and you are granted custody. Be well, and remember that all things work to good for those that love and believe. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
I saw your story on nbclosangles.com. I am so glad the media has picked up your story. We need to find a way to keep it in the media and get you the best attorneys possible. We have a 2 year old, and I was in tears telling your story to my husband. You, your little girl and family are in my prayers. I will do the best I can to get the word out.
My heart breaks for the both of you. No child deserves to be put through this, at least vanessa has someone fighting for her. Hold your head high, you have my love and support.
Stacey and Vanessa, my prayers are with you both as well. We’ll pray that the courts will see that Vanessa staying with you is the way it should and needs to be. The biological mother apparently lied for a reason. She wanted her child to be out of the mess that comes with the life and lifestyle of the biological father. We will pray that the courts see this, know this and act on behalf of Vanessa and for you. Stay strong. We adopted too, we had our beautiful son for 21 years before he passed away. Not hardly a day goes by but what we don’t remember him. We see him in our beautiful grandchild now. Stay strong. You have the might/right of the Lord and lots and lots of prayers and people standing with you.
Stacey:
Wow I just read about your situation, and I am beyond angry. How dare they try and take your baby away. OMG I am a birthmother and I understand why the birthmom did what she did. She did not mean to deceive you she just wanted a better life for your baby Vanessa. Some people don’t understand what its like to be in an abusive situation, you keep thinking oh it will get better than it doesn’t. Than 1 day you wake up and say dear God please help me and that’s why I believe God gave you that child and she is yours to keep. I will pray for Gods will for you and Vanessa to keep you guys together. All our Love, Lori
Stacey,
I know I don’t have to tell you this, but I feel the need to share the Kelly Famlies feelings. This is a classic example of how broken the system is when a convicted abusive fellon who already is not taking care of the children he already has can claim rights over another child! Where is the common sense in all of this, and who really is looking out for the best interest of the child.
There is no question if returned to the father the child will face the poosibility of abuse, neglect, and being lost in the foster care system. On the other hand if left with Stacey who ia already part of a multi-racial and ethnic family, many of whom are holders of high level degrees and lead successful lives who give back to there communities, Vanessa is much more likely to have a bright future filled with possibilites of becoming a sucessful, educated, and positive member of society!
We Love you and Vanessa,
Ron, Nuala, and Cousin Christopher!
Hi Stacey,
I know and I feel what your’re going through right now,I am so sad but you and I know that God is so powerful that He understands what you want and that He is just to give justice to you.Entrust everything to Him and He will fight all the battles for you.I am positive,you will win your case. With my prayers.
Jeanette
I pray that God’s loving hands will surround and protect Stacy and Vanessa, and that His kind heart will guide everyone involved in this decision making, so that this beautiful child and loving mother will not be torn apart. Amen
I think it is a travesty of justice that
Vanessa will go to a foster home[a strangers home]when she has a loving home now. Judges must have visdom and see that justice is done a leave Vanessa in your loving arms. Vanessa belongs with you Stacy. She belongs with Doss family, the only family she knows and loves.. Keep fighting Stacy!!DON’T GIVE UP!! We’re praying for you. Love, Sonja and George
Stacey, we are behind you 100%. We know how hard it was for you to get Vanessa and she has flourished with you. You can count on us to help with whatever you need. Love,
Jim, Janice and Peyton : )
I hate when babies are stolen!
Please give Vanessa my love. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
This is soooo upsetting… I am an adoptive Mom through fostering. And what is happening to you could possibly happen to me too… Just because to people have sex, get pregnant, give birth, that does not make someone a capable safe mother, nor father…. Of course they struggle too, etc…
~~~~ God most certainly ~ intentionally placed Vanessa in your arms ~~~~
Praying you all up, for Gods protection, as He cares more about the children. I heard about you from Erin Davern… Not sure if you are local here in OC, CA… Saddleback Church has a HUGE ministry for children, orphans and support for adoptive parents…
We will pray for you and your daughter. We have friends that have been foster parents and adoptive parents. It is incredibly sad that the law prevents the best interest and safety of the child from being put first and foremost. We pray for a safe resolution and that your daughter will be allowed to stay home with you.
It just breaks our hearts to hear what you have been going through. Stay strong Stacey… the bond between you & Vanessa cannot be broken! We hope and pray Vanessa gets the life she deserves… with you Stacey, a mother who truly loves her. Hopefully Mills will do what’s best for Vanessa and let you continue to raise her in a loving stable environment where she will continue to be protected the rest of her life.
Dear Stacy and Vanessa,
We are your neighbors down the street, Donna, Tiffany and little Makena. We can’t even begin to express our concerns for you and your family right now. We heard about this awful battle that you are enduring and we wanted you to know that we are here to back you up and support in any way possible. If there is anything that you need please let us know. We are hopeful that the courts will do the right thing and look out for Vanessa’s best interest. You are an amazing Mother and role model for Vanessa and I am sure that won’t be overlooked. Good luck today and please keep us posted.
Love,
The Tchir-Spence Family
Stacey, This breaks my heart. I know what a passionate, loving and devoted mother you are to your precious Vanessa. As you say, having this bond broken during her formative years, would have devastating long-term consequences for her. I can’t imagine the depth of your pain right now. I am and will continue to send up prayers that God will keep your beautiful family in tact and to leave this battle behind you forever. God is good and he cares passionately about both you and Vanessa. I will be writing a letter to both courts today. Love to you.
I will be an ardent prayer warrior for you and your darling daughter. Blessings to you and keep up the good fight. You know you are doing the right thing!
May you prayers be answered Stacey~
Hi Stacy,
I am compelled to write not only as an adopted child, but also as a mom (who also lost custody of my own 2 children-long painful story, but I know how bad it’s been for my own kids & how it has had a negative impact on their lives).
Vanessa may have been created by 2 different people from you, but you ARE her mom! I’ve only caught brief glimpses into your relationship with her, but she IS bonded to YOU. Not her bio-mom & certainly not her “sperm-donor.” It breaks my heart to see this little girl who is so happy & well adjusted with you, who may well be torn away from the only family she knows & trusts. This child will certainly suffer horribly if that happens. I hope & pray that it doesn’t. The judge in Ohio & in the OC will hopefully see the folly in taking her away, & instead award you permanent custody of Vanessa & that she will grow up happy, healthy, & well loved. There is nothing wrong with her sperm donor to have some contact with Vanessa once she is a legal adult. Yes, it’s many years away, but he made his bed, & will have to deal with the consequences of messing up his own life & spending time in prison. He’s no role model for her, he’s NOT good father material if he’s engaged in spousal abuse. What would stop him from hurting this little girl if he were to ever spend time with her? Foster care is certainly NOT a viable option, there are too many horror stories to list, but bad things happen to children in foster care…abuse, children falling through the cracks, & even disappearing, or worse kept in cages…I’ve seen & read plenty of reports. For shame that this sperm donor wants to take the only love away from an innocent child. She’s happy & content where she is! Please leave her be. It’s for the best for all involved!
Hi, Vanessa!
I know you and your mommy are going through a lot right now and I just wanted to let you know that we support you every step of the way! I can’t even imagine being torn away from my mommies, so I want you to stay with your mommy! I also want you to stay here in Rancho, so we can play together!
Love,
Makena
I choke back tears as I write to you Stacey. I am the foster mother (soon to be adoptive mother) of my nephew. Having to deal with CPS is a nightmare! He is my flesh & blood, his parents washed their hands of him entirely (they were abusive & neglectful) and yet I still have to deal with a constant uphill battle to adopt. You would think they would have the child’s best interest at heart, but they are the 1st to tell you that the #1 goal of CPS is “family reunification”. Even if the family is unwilling or unfit. The mothers rights have been terminated, yet they keep extending the rights for the father. He actually got an extension on his case, prolonging our adoption, because he took a “class” while he was incarcerated – so they are giving him credit for trying while he was in jail. Unbelievable.
I would like to say that our calls & letters will make a huge impact on the courts, but sadly, they will not. We can send thousands of letters daily, and CPS will still prevail. I pray that they do not move her out of state, and I pray that you have the world’s best attorneys on your team. Hopefully the press you are getting from this will generate some “Pro Bono” assistance from any notorious attorney out there.
Shame on this man for claiming to be her father. You have to earn that title, not just donate your DNA.
All the best to you.
My heart goes out to you and your daughter in this horrible time. As a new mom I could never image my child taking away from me like this. Yes I may not have adopted him but the fact is a mother is a mother no matter how you were blessed with the child. You are more a mother to your daughter then her father is to her. I just cant get over the legal system and the logic behind this. It should be a no brainer, you have loved and cared for this child when she didn’t have her biological parents around. She only knows you as her mother and that is the way it should stay. I hope everything goes well for you, stay strong!
I think it’s absurd and horrible that this can even happen in America. I pray that your daughter’s biological father will come to his senses and put Vanessa first. Good luck to you and your sweet daughter today.
The child should stay away from the abuser.
Read and sign this petition written by PEAR Parents of Ethical Adoptions.
CONVICTED CRIMINALS AND KNOWN ABUSERS ADOPTED A CHILD from a family who also had a bond. This case was dragged out in the Utah Courts.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Call for Full Investigation into Amelya Frances Kirkpatrick’s Adoption in Utah
According to a court document obtained by PEAR, on February 9, 2010, Scott and Karen Banks, former owners of adoption agency Focus on Children, were allowed to adopt another child, originally from China. The Banks were indicted on 135 Federal counts in 2007 for a fraudulent adoption scheme in Samoa. In 2009, they pled guilty to Aiding and Abetting the Improper Entry of an Alien in a plea deal made with the US Attorney’s office in Utah. They were given a sentence of five years probation during which time they are forbidden to participate in the adoption business and are required to make payment into a trust for the victims.
The recent adoption occurred after evidence of their illegal activities with their Samoan adoption program were put on record in Utah courts. Also supplied was information regarding the Banks two previously adopted Romanian children.
According to numerous media sources and their now-adult Romanian daughter’s own affidavit, this child and her sibling were flown to Samoa by Scott Banks and left without legal documentation in 2000, leaving these adoptees in a legal limbo. In addition, according to an affidavit given by their caregiver in Samoa, the Banks have had no contact with either child since their arrival, nor have they supported the children in any way since abandoning them in Samoa.
Furthermore, a third child of the Banks, suffering from cerebral palsy and also adopted from Romania, has been alleged in various documents to have been severely neglected in their home. This child was placed in a group home in Utah.
PEAR believes that anyone convicted of crimes involving children should be barred from the possibility of adopting any other children. We also believe that any parents convicted of or with a history of legitimate allegations of child abuse and neglect should be barred from adopting children.
PEAR opposes any practice that does not protect the rights of the child to live a life free from abuse and neglect with qualified and loving adoptive parents. To not hold these rights paramount in an adoption proceeding undermines every moral and ethical standard that each child deserves.
We are sponsoring a petition to be sent to the Governor of Utah asking his office to open an investigation into how and why this family was allowed to adopt another child given their dubious history. If you agree with the statements made please take a moment to sign the petition.
The petition can be found at http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/utahadoption/
Measure passed by PEAR’s board 2/19/2010
__._,_.___
It appears that not only is justice blind but also deaf and dumb. Or can we just say downright stupid. To take away a child’s rights in the name of justice is just that….stupid. Imagine being two years old and being taken away from your home, your mother, your extended family and your playmates. Imagine the confussion, the rejection, the emotional instability this would create in your mind. Where is my mother? Where are my friends? Where am I and who are these people? Why can’t I be with my mother in her arms? Why is my mother not here protecting me? This is what it boils down to folks. A very broken system. Who in their right mind would take a child out of a secure loving environment and place them in foster care thousands of miles away from the home and environment she knows and loves? Worse is siding with a man who already has fathered four children and DOES NOT HAVE custody of any of them. I liken this to the story of Solomon when faced with the two women who each claimed the newborn was hers. King Solomon wisely said to split the baby in half and the real mother stood up ready to give her away rather than kill her baby while the other was OK with the decision. This woman was willing to sacrifice her own flesh and blood in order to save the life of her rightful child . Solomon wisely knew who the real mother was and gave the baby to her rightful mother. This sperm donor is no better than the “fake” mother. Better to have the child’s psyche destroyed than saved and given to the real mother which is Stacey. Stacey has sacrificed everything to save this child from an uncertain fate. If ALL children were loved as much as Stacey loves this little girl, we would not be having this conversation. Help save this country from the unjust practices of this broken legal system. Help her with letters, financial support, e-mail anyone you know. There has got to be a way to save this innocent live.
this touched me very much. i am bearly 16 years old and i can say that if this would ever happen to me i would go crazy. a child is never the reason why a parent does so many mistakes for that reason a child should never pay for our parents mistake. i wish you much luck and may god bless both of you. little vanessa is in my prayers♥
I read an article about you today and started crying. I have 6 adopted children from Orange County, two with severe RAD (so bad that they can’t live at home anymore). I am now raising my granddaughter and always fear her parents will come back and try to take her. When will the judicial system do what is right for these innocent children??? Vanessa belongs with you! You are all she knows. Why devastate that bond?! I am sending a letter on your behalf to the courts backed with everything I know about RAD and the impact foster care would have on this poor little girl. I am so sick of people thinking that blood matters more than the bond adoptive families can form.
Best of luck to you. You will be in my prayers.
Traci
Apparently, the adoption was never finalized. Did the bio father have knowledge of the child early on? If so, you will have a better chance. Having and loving her as long as you have, gives you standing, I assume in both states, they look at what is best for the child. I cant imagine either state siding with the father. Not because if his record of criminal behavior, just the simple fact in currently isnt taking care of his other children. I truley beleive that will be your saving grace. Keep the faith….
Dear Stacey,
I just read your story in the Register and was touched and heartbroken all at the same time. I am an adopted daughter who was blessed with amazing parents. I cannot begin to imagine what you must be going through. I know how deep and passionate my mother’s love for me is, and I can only relate it to that. Stay strong and keep fighting for Vanessa. The system in our country is so screwed up and unfair at times. I always feel so lucky to be adopted, because I know that I was truly wanted and loved! I believe Vanessa will feel the same growing up with you! I have passed your story along to my family and we all plan to do whatever we can to help. You will be in our prayers!
I watched you this afternoon and cried along with you. I am absolutely DISGUSTED in the Juvenile Court System.
Put your faith in the Lord. He has the power to deliver you from all fear.
Blessings to you and your loved ones during this trying time.
Dear Stacey: There are no words, written or verbal, to describe what happened today (Friday) in court (if I understand fully the outcome of the proceedings). This maze of confusion, delirium, bad judgment, lack of sensibility, sensitivity and just plain stupidity that we call our justice system is beyond any description. In the effort to be ‘fair’ and ‘politically correct’ we’ve taken every bit of common sense and stretched it to the limits to the point where it’s come back to bite us and almost destroy us. And, in the end, these are the consequences….I don’t know what you will do…I know what I might or could or conceivably do, but I am not you…FIGHT to the last breath and last appeal you have…of course I share the same extreme sadness that the previous posts reflect — I can’t begin to imagine your grief !! I do not know where this will take you and Vanessa and the remainder of your beautiful family, I only know that if there is an ounce of fairness and righteousness in this land, something will work out and perhaps you will have paved the way for others in the future. You’re one brave woman, Stacey, and Vanessa is one lucky little girl to have you. Keep her. Keep her. You can, and you will!!!
Having adopted my daughter at birth I can only imagine what you must be going through. I will pray that Baby Vanessa stays where she needs to stay..with you!
Stacey,
Is there a case number that we can reference when writing to the courts? Where is the baby-momma? Can you get a hold of her? Can she help you fight this bastard of a baby-daddy? Can she petition for custody then finalize the adoption papers?
I am praying that the judges in this case take a moment and see what is best for Vanessa. Ripping her away from the only thing that she knows is NOT the best thing for that child.
Stacey….my heart aches for you and little Vanessa. I know a lot of your story first hand. This makes me think of the bible story of King Solomon and the baby. In the end the real mother cared more for the baby’s life and welfare to say let the other mother have him. I do believe you are the REAL mother. You are the only mother Vanessa has ever known. I can not condone the heartlessness of anyone trying to turn this beautiful little girl’s world upside down. I can see that in your care she is loved beyond belief. And she is provided for very well financially, which I doubt she will receive elsewhere. I think she would thrive in your care and grow to be a beautiful normal young lady. I see this ending badly if she is removed from your loving arms and made a part of America’s warped family judicial system. DNA is NOT what makes you family. It’s love! Any idiot with a normal functioning uterus can have a baby. But it takes a real mother to love, care and provide for it. That mother is you! She belongs with you. Just know…..you have a lot of people praying for you! And you have an alliance that wants to help you and your daughter! Hold on!
I am so outraged about this. I heard about your story on a local news website about 40 minutes from Dayton Ohio. This is so upsetting and I am so sorry you have to go through this. Why now is the dad coming around? Where was he two years ago. The courts need to make some msjor changes in adaoption laws. People who give their children up do it for a reason and need to realize what they are doing. I hate the biological mother in this case. How selfish is she and the biological father. Vanessa is happy, leave her alone. They aren’t showing love, but poor parenting skills still to rip her away from you. My prayers are with you and poor Vanessa. I hate the courts and biological parents for this.
First off You need too read all the articles and get the facts straight, the BIO_DAD is fighting to take this precious lil’ angel away from Stacy not the birth mom, she obviously did what she had to do for her daughters well being, SELFISH? NEVER, she did the most unselfish act a mother could do, and I commend her for realizing Vanessa needed a safe and healthy environment that Stacy could provide… Dont blame the birth mom she’s not at fault…
Hi Stacey. I first heard of your story on the news tonight. The court decision today was a travesty. Clearly, you are a wonderful mom to darling Vanessa. Taking her away from you would be evil, pure and simple. It is so obviously in the best interests of Vanessa to remain with her loving mother and the only family she has ever known. I agree with Pat Johnson that everyone should write letters to the judges in order to ensure that those letters become part of the file. Bless you in this fight.
This is crazy! The man (and I use that word loosely) who supposedly loves his child and wants the best for her, wants to do the right thing by taking her away from the only life she has ever known and give her to strangers.
The right thing would be to leave the child with her loving mother and not demand to have her back because you’re throwing a tantrum. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you’ll take just as good of care of Vanessa as you do with the four other children you don’t live with.
Stacey, I wish I could donate to your cause. I can’t, but I will write to the courts. I’m praying for you and Vanessa! So sorry this is happening to you.
Stacey-just heard the judge ordered you to hand baby Vanessa over. I know yours is an adoption case-not a custody case. I know this is not logical but in divorce courts from Maine to California, mothers are losing custody to sexually abusive fathers. I congratulate you for making the media aware of the child protective service system. I would like to have you join us in fighting the Child Protective Service system. Thirty five children a year die from abuse under the scrutiny of “unfounded and unsubstantiated findings of abuse” from Los Angeles County Child Protective Services, CPS budget is over $1.7 billion a year.
Hi Stacey…I live in Dayton and just read this in the Dayton Daily News. I am so upset!! They should not even be granted a second thought about changing the living situation for your baby Vanessa.
Selfish people – all around! Nobody cares what impact this has on the child. They always say in the best interest of the child – yes, and that is not always with the birth parents! I pray to god that you will be able to keep her in your arms. My heart breaks thinking about them taking her!
May you have strength and support in these trying times!
Hi, Vanessa!
I know you and your true family are going through a lot right now, but I just wanted to let you know that my family and I support you every step of the way! It is best that you stay with your real mommy, Stacey, who loves you more than anything in the world! I can’t even imagine being taken away from my mommies! They better let you stay in Rancho with your true family! (and so we can play together!)
Love,
Makena
Anyone with a child (and a heart) can empathize with this incredibly difficult ordeal Stacey has endured. What kind of country do we live in where our judges rip precious, innocent little children from their loving homes and throw them to abusive, violent, and negligent drug monsters who have a long list of crimes? I’m disgusted by our judicial system.
Stacey– super Z-women will NOT back down!! We WILL win this fight!!.
Chuck, Hannah & I love you and Vanessa always…….
If there is any justice in this world Vanessa will be allowed to stay with you, her loving mommy. I pray the court system truly does what is best for Vanessa and finalizes your adoption so you may get on with your life together -free from the worries of today.
Best to you and Vanessa.
Stacey,
We were in a very similar situation 20 years ago with our (now) daughter Megan. Terrible and expensive battle with the courts and the bio father who was in prison (mother was a drug addict) while we raised our precious daughter from an infant (4 months) to 2 years old. He was released and took us to court to get “his” daughter back. We were told in the beginning to forget about getting custody of Megan; we perseverved. One piece of advice, if this hasn’t happened already, is to demand a 730 exam, which is psych exam. This swayed the court (the bio father was nuts).
We will contact the court with our concerns. Good luck and our hearts are with you.
it is very heart-breaking and I know that Vanessa will be happy staying with you. Since I am still young and can’t donate or help you in those kinds of ways but I wish for the best.
People need to understand that this is not a dog or a battle over a car or house or materialistic item. THIS IS A CHILD! A LITTLE GIRL! AND HER MOMMY’S LITTLE PRINCESS! What happened to fast tracking a child like little Vanessa into a permanent, safe, & loving home? Shame on our Legal system, The Courts, and ALL involved in the tossing around of these… BEAUTIFUL, INNOCENT, HUMAN CHILDREN! YES, Parents make mistakes in life. But….. Their is a profound difference between…. “I made a (single) mistake and got help and never did it again” and a person or person(s), with Severe Character flaws, Abusive behaviors, or Addictions that, as a result, will absolutely DESTROY & PREVENT any chance of this Child & other Children, from having a normal life and being raised in a loving home. Vanessa has a Stable Home! Vanessa has a Mommy! Vanessa has a Family! Vanessa has Peace, Love and Joy in her life! Stop any future abuse on Vanessa! LEAVE HER ALONE!
My prayers are with you, Suzanne
Do not trust the legal system! My granddaughter was taken from my home at four months, put in a foster home, and, through a corrupt judge, was sent to strangers who paid off the judge. Do not trust the legal system.
Leave! Grab your baby girl in your arms and RUN! You can get lost in this big country fairly easily. You owe it to your daughter to have a safe, loving home.
I am from Dayton, Ohio and I have read your story on WHIOTV.com and it broke my heart. I could not imagine someone tring to take my son away from me. I hope the courts relize that you are the one who has cared for this child and that you are who she knows is as mom. May God be on your side. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Stacey, there may be some hope in that Ohio has a law titled “Putative Father’s Registry.” ORC3701-061 and OR3107.065. This law requires that any man who has sex with a woman not his wife, must register with this registry anytime before the baby is born but not later than 30 days after the birth if he wants a say in the child’s adoption. The State is required to check with the Registry for his name prior to any adoption. The problem is, hardly anyone knows about this law. Even the people who are supposed to check the registry. I seriously doubt that the father in your case registered. Hope this helps. Doug
I am a Birth Mother, I am thankful that there are loving people out there such as your self to step in when Birth Parents are unable to take care of a child.
I can’t imagine the pain you are going through, and I hope it will all work out for you.
Dear Stacey,
This kind of insanity is happening all the time in the courts in relation to custody decisions. I posted a news link about your case on my cause page. It is time that citizens and taxpayers, make our judicial systems accountable for their actions and decisions.
Safe Child International facebook.com Cause page, http://www.causes.com/causes/497298?m=1577183f
Children around the world are being abused, violated and exploited every day, but perhaps the most inadmissible instances are those within western judicial and child protection systems.
Judicial decisions in courts are all too often based on manipulations and hearsay rather than facts or evidence, with our children paying the highest price.
• Abusive parents are more likely to seek sole custody of children, and are successful 70% of the time
• 58,000 children a year are ordered into unsupervised contact with physically or sexually abusive parents
• Over 500,000 children remain in this situation until they reach 18
“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.” Albert Einstein.
Quenby Wilcox
Stacey & Vanessa,
You’re story breaks my heart. I will keep you both in my prayers. As one who has had a precious child ripped from my arms and placed in a home of those who couldn’t care properly for their offspring, I have some inkling of the pain your going through. It is my heartfelt prayer that Vanessa will not have to be in foster care and that she will be able to stay in the loving home where she currently resides with the only mommy she’s ever known. Those pictures speak volumes about where she belongs.
Stacey, be strong and know that God will see to it that all turns out according to His perfect plan. I hope and have prayed that God will help you find favor with the court system and that the judge sees the real intentions and past history of the biological father and that justice will be served. Know that we ARE praying for you and little Vanessa. And know that God is greater than any obstacle that you are facing, and He will bring you out of this ugly battle because with Him on your side, who could possibly be against you. Absolutley no one, not even the highest courst system in the US. God bless you!
Dear Stacey,
I remember you from E.T.H.S. and I was very sad to read your story today in the O.C. Register. Taking your daughter away and placing her with strangers! I am outraged!
I will certainly write to the courts and donate to your cause. I am so sorry you have been going through this. I will be praying for you and your daughter.
If this man wants to go on record as Vanessa’s father, than he needs to step up, be a man, and have her remain with the only mother this child has ever known. Let him be remembered as the father who loved his baby enough to let her go. It is very easy for us, the public, to be angry with the biological father. Instead of using anger, let us use encouragement with him to do the right thing for Vanessa. There are many people who do not see adoption as a wonderful event, but rather associate shame and disappointment with the birth parents. Let us, those who know how loving adoption can be, encourage the birth father to choose the hardest thing he will ever have to do; give up his baby. Let us offer support, and understanding for his difficult choice and reassure him that Vanessa is where she belongs, loved & cared for.
~ Good luck Doss Family.
Stacy ~ Just wanted to let you know you have our support – some kids in our neighborhood were taking dontaions yesterday and we were happy to help. I wish with all my heart that this gets resolved so that Vanessa can stay with the family that loves and cherishes her most. Love and Light to you and to Vanessa. Stay strong!
Jamie and Cameron
Stacey, my heart breaks over your situation. I can’t understand how this can happen and I pray that justice prevails for the good of your daughter. Please remember that God is in control and will carry you through this difficult time.
I’m posting your blog to my facebook and hopefully others will also.
I’ll be praying for you.
Oh yes, because a child living in a house with a man who has been convicted of domestic violence who just happens to be her biological father through an accident of nature is so much better off than she is staying with an adoptive mother who loves her and is fighting for her.
It sounds like something horrible happened to you in your life, and I am sorry that’s so, but with all due respect, pull your head out of your ass and realize that in most cases there is a good reason that CPS is involved. For most CPS agencies the goal is to reunite families, so it takes a lot to terminate parental rights. If a termination has happened, it’s only after every chance in the world has been given to the biological parents.
We’re praying for you Stacey and Vanessa, and we’ll help spread the word for you!
Stacey – I am from Dayton, Ohio (Montgomery County) and saw your write up in the Dayton Daily News. As a mother of the most perfect 21 month old, I can not fathom the pain you are going through. Fight, Fight and Fight some more! Do not give up Vanessa to that monster. Unfortunately, our county is drowning in children services cases. You are a wonderful mother and your little one looks happy and content. When and if you are forced to come here – you will have support! Please let us in Dayton, Ohio know what we can do for you. Love, Support and Prayers are with you!
As a foster and adoptive mom, this story is all too familiar. It is heartbreaking for the children and the intended adoptive parents, but happens all too frequently. Until the courts quit treating these precious children as “property”, and quit glorifying and exalting the “rights” of unfit birth parents, it will continue to happen. The damage done to the innocent children in these situations is unforgiveable and creates wounds that will not heal.
I pray that you will find favor with the judges involved and that God will hear your prayers and protect your little girl. Sometimes things don’t happen the way we think they should, but God is not hindered by the misdeeds of the agencies, birth parents, or judicial systems. He can still work things out in ways we would never think of. Keep your focus on Him and not on the current circumstances.
I just pray the biological father does NOT come forward and emotionally, spiritually and mentally “kill” you. Pealse e-mail me at tsherid6@aol.com.
The birthmother of this child is white. The adoptive mother of this child is white. To place this child in an environment of neglect and domestic abuse (the biological father) would be a grave sin indeed.
God Bless you and your Vanessa… remember biology doesn’t make a parent… love, caring, guidance and protective arms that enrobe… that’s a mother and she’s your daughter! Stay strong!!!
Stacey: I wish you and your daughter the very best in your family’s legal battle. I recently finalized the adoption of my 2 year old son (whom I also had since birth), but it was not without its turmoil. I understand the fear and uncertainty you must be experiencing right now. Juvenile law and process regarding adoption must be changed to give pre-adoptive parents more say and input in the court’s attempts at reunifying children with their biological parents. There’s a reason your daughter’s bio dad has not been allowed to raise any of his other children. Please do not give up your fight. I truly believe, in the deepest recesses of my heart, that you will ultimately be able to finalize the adoption of your daughter and move on with your life. Good luck.
Draw near to God, for your protection, and His protection over your daughter, and trust Him to stand in your defense as you continue to fight for Vanessa. Let Him be your strength. Praying for both of you!
What an absurdity!!! “A judge” has decided that it will be in Vanessa’s best interest to have her ripped out of the arms of “her mother”, Stacey, and placed in foster care in Ohio for an undertermined period of time??? Unbelievable!!! I shutter to think of what her life will be like if the court next awards her to the “sperm donor convicted abuser”. I pray that justice will prevail on July 16 when this case is appealed. . . and further that Stacey will be able to complete the adoption of “her daugher” so they can, so deservingly, live happily ever after!!!
Stacey:
i cant imagine how you are feeling i really do hope that justice is served and you stay with your baby girl how can they even give this man her father a chance to speak up dont they see he will only hurt her emotionally..my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
“”may god give you strength to believe and have faith.”"
Stacey,
I will be sending my letters to the courts in support of you keeping your daughter. It takes alot more than DNA to be a good father and CPS has failed many children by reuniting them with their biological parents. With a history of domestic violence in his past and child endangerment, what person in their right mind would take away your daughter. Then put her in foster care when she already has a loving mother and family. I would think the 4 other mothers would have many things to say about this man that would help your case and keep your child. Prayers for you and Vanessa. Your love for each other will get you through and you will win this battle.
Stacey,
I live close to Dayton, and I have been following your story in the papers. Please keep believing that your precious daughter will remain with you. I can only imagine how difficult this has been, and during a time when you should be able to enjoy every minute of your life with Vanessa. She is just beautiful and so obviously loved.
I will do everything that I can do pass your story to others. The power of social media today is very strong, and fast and can produce a lot of support.
Please let me know if I can do anything to help you when you come to Dayton. And I will pray that if Vanessa does have to spend time in foster care, that God will guide her placement in just the right family who will watch over her just like you do. But I have faith that won’t be necessary and she will remain with you. Stay strong…
Hello Ms.Doss this is simply HEART-BREAKING and is just wrong but I felt the need to tell you that no matter what, please believe and put all trust in the Lord God for he will be with you and Vanessa , I truly feel that Jesus will not let YOUR beautiful daughter be taken from her true family. Dont give up hope for God will fight for Vanessa for you.
God Bless Vanessa and You
My prayers go out to you and your family.
I just saw you on Good Morning America, and your story broke my heart. I felt compelled to write and just let you know I am rooting for you and keeping you in my prayers. As a new mom, I cried when you said you would do anything to keep your daughter out of harm’s way. If that isn’t indicative of a mother’s unconditional love, I don’t know what is. Sending you and your family love and prayers ~ Emily
I have 3 kids of my own. This is a heartbreaking story. I have signed the petition and will be preparing a letter to the Montgomery County court this afternoon. I live in Montgomery County near Dayton. You saved Vanessa from a hard life. You deserve her and she deserves you. I wish you the best of luck. If there is anything else that can be done locally… well… we can’t let Vanessa get lost in the system or put with an abusive parent when she has you.
The law in the State of Florida gives the Adoptive Parent the right to keep the child. It is the only parent the child has known therefore, the Adoptive Parent keeps the child. Where was the “father” prior to the child’s birth? NOT AROUND!!! Have the courts look up the laws in Florida!!! The child should stay with the adoptive mother.
No Terry, FL law does not give 3rd parties in a contested adoption case ANY rights. I lost MY adoptive son at almost 4 years old, in Florida, to a similar kind of private adoption situation:
http://www.law.capital.edu/adoption/evan.cfm
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0501/27/lkl.01.html
Regardless, this case is in Ohio’s jurisdiction, not Florida. Adoption laws are different in each state. I will keep Vanessa and her mommy in my thoughts and prayers. It’s the worst nightmare any parent and child can experience. The aftermath is devastating.
Stacey, if you ever need to talk to someone who has “been there”, please contact me. Your appellate attorney has my contact information.
Kindest Regards,
Dawn
Stacey,
My best friend has gone through a situation that paralells yours. My friend and her husband were in the process of adopting a beautiful 18 month old boy. His Birth Mother signed her termination papers, and he was placed in their home. It wasn’t long after this that his Birth Father objected to the adoption. We fought the court system here in Louisiana for two years. We went through our Juvenile Court, and our Appeal Court. Eventually the Judge did what was “in the best interest of the child” and ripped him away from the only family he had ever known and gave him back to his Birth Father.
You are in my prayers everyday. Vanessa should not have to endure this. Our legal system should really look at the situation, and do what is in Vanessa’s best interest. Just because you share DNA with someone does not mean they are fit to be a parent. I am praying for you and Vanessa.
Stacey,
The courts will see what’s best for this child. PLEASE have trust in them! The Judge can TRULY see through the “birth donor’s” tainted record. It would horrible to see this precious child in his custody. He already has a child endangerment charge for God’s sake!!
Please don’t run! It will only nake things worse for you. I know you love this angel, but it WILL work out in your favor!! If you have to be separated for a short time, time can heal all pain.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Vanessa!
Stacey –
My heart aches for you and your little girl. I have two daughters of my own, the youngest the same age as Vanessa. I couldn’t imagine having to give either one of them up. Unfortunately Ohio and California aren’t the only two states that think the birth parents have more rights than the parents that have raised and nurtured children. Iowa operates in the same way. It is utterly ridiculous to remove a small child from a loving and nurturing home to put them with the birth parent who is not capable of taking care of themselves let alone a small child just because that birth parent shares some DNA with the child. My prayers are with you that the courts in Ohio and California do the responsible and correct thing for you and Vanessa.
Both my husband and I are outraged at this situation, and send both our prayers and good wishes for a positive outcome for you and your sweet Vanessa.
My heart goes out to you and your beautiful daughter! I have followed your story and find this case unbelievable! There is no way your daughter should be awarded to this nobody! Best of luck to you and may this battle be over in your favor very, very soon!
Stacey, I am sitting here crying and my heart is filled with such sadness. Too often the “heart” is left out of the law. I am from Ohio and my family and I think that you would stand a better chance of fighting this in the Ohio courts.
Vanessa is a beautiful little girl and deserves so much more than what the courts have dealt her. My heart aches for you.
DON’T GIVE UP. Continue to fight for her. I have posted your web-page on my face book and encourage others to do the same.
Maybe if we scream loud enough and long enough, someone will listen!!!
God Bless you, Mary
I am so sorry you have to go through this. There is no doubt that Vanessa would have the best life possible with you as her mom. I’m just curious that maybe the birth father have some sort of benefit monetarily because he does not sound like father of year to me.
My heart goes out to you as my brother and sister-in-law are in the same situation. I actually had a phone call from a friend today that thought you were my sister-in-law on ABC News. The stories are so similiar it is uncanny. In my brother’s situation they have taken my neice out of their home and placed her with her birthfather that is 4 years away from being classified as a senior citizen, a recovering drug addict that takes narcotics for pain, does not have his own residence and lives with an older sibling (senior citizen) who is the primary caregiver of my neice. My brother can give this child the world, yet based on sperm and a mother’s lie, this opportunity has been taken from him and my neice may be forced to grow up on welfare, food stamps, and medicaid…Like California needs more children to pay for. My brother could provide a life for this child without the help of government aid. What a shame this is that we allow a child to be in harms way and live a less than safe and wholesome lifestyle because a drug dealer impregnated on of his customers. This system makes me sick and I have lost all hope and confidence in our justice system. If I were you I would be packing suitcases and leaving with the baby.
How awful and disturbing, and I feel for you. The court should rule for the best interest of the child… your child. My huband and I adopted a little baby boy, and if this happened to us, we’d do the same thing you’re doing. My prayers for you and your daughter. May the court rule in your favor! You have a beautiful daughter.
It’s a shame such incidents even arise. We elect what are supposed to be extremely intelligent people to be judges yet rely on a system that does not take into account the human aspect of individual situations. This appears to be an obvious case where the rights of one party should be ignored due to previous decisions and to protect a child. I’m sure any judge that sees the facts would like to decide based on the safety of the child but, is confined to decided based on laws developed years ago and based on situations that may have been similar but yet still very different. Sad but true. Good thing there is a higher power who will have the final say. Give God faith & trust he deserves and watch God’s work unvale before us all. But, only if we show God faith will our prays be answered. Without faith, God is left to use the situation as a learning tool. Don’t ask for more but, give thanks for the blessings already given and watch the blessings continue. Only God & Vanessa’s mom know how true her faith in God is & soon the results will show the rest of us. Thanks be to God!
Mailed today:
Superior Court of California,
County of Orange Lamoreaux Justice Center
Dept. L66
341 The City Drive South
Orange, CA 92868-3205
RE: VANESSA DOSS/STACEY DOSS CASE
Dear Judge:
My name is Lesli Latt and I have been following the case of Vanessa Doss, the child who the courts have ruled that the adoptive mother, Stacey Doss, return to the state of her abusive birth father. I am sure you have received several letters in regards to this case and my story may not be any different from those that have been read already, but I hope that you will read this and consider the well being of the child above and beyond anything else.
I was adopted when I was 3 days old by a lovely couple who already had two biological children of their own. As I understand it, my biological parents were good people, but very young teenagers who had the decency to let another family raise me as their own when they knew they could not. I grew up in an upper middle class home, took summer vacations across the country and even out of the country with my family and was given a lovely home life with parents who instilled the best values in me. I had dreams and goals and when I turned 25, made a horrible decision to stay in an abusive relationship, mostly out of fear. I became pregnant and my pregnancy was filled with abuse, both physical and emotional. I was secluded from my family, friends and work. I could not leave the apartment and I was constantly threatened. I was told that he could kill me and make it look like a complete accident, and I believed him, after he held a gun to my head.
When my daughter, Gabriella, was born, I realized that in order for me to give my child the best life I could, it would mean somehow getting away from her father. At a month old, I packed my daughter up while her father was at work and moved into a studio apartment. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I had nothing, not even a job. It became evident soon after that my daughter had some behavioral and emotional disabilities (I was told because of all the chemicals that my body released during my pregnancy that were a result of stress from all of the abuse). Her father found us, but I had a new sense of responsibility and a strong desire to protect my daughter. For years, he stalked us, had friends follow me, tried to get me fired from my new job, everything you could imagine he could do to try to gain control over me again. Finally, he gave up. For 13 years, we never heard from him. No child support, not a word. Until recently. He found me, got my number (I have no idea how) called me and told me he wanted to meet his daughter. I told him no, that she did not want to meet him. He instantly fell right back into the monster he was before. Verbally abusing me, threatening me just like the old days. I told him he didn’t scare me anymore, that if he ever called me again, I would file a police report against him and do everything I could to have him deported (I had found out when my daughter was 2 that he was here illegally).
Now, my daughter is 15. It has been just her and I her entire life. It has been hard, struggle after struggle with her disabilities. But, I have provided a life for her that I would have never been able to give her if I had stayed with her abusive father. I am a Human Resources Executive and she is a thriving, sweet teenager who loves God and knows the value of respect, courtesy and responsibility.
Why am I sharing this? I am a product of adoption. I was raised well by loving parents. My daughter is a product of an abusive relationship. The parallels in my story and that of Vanessa and Stacey Doss are evident. I know the value of adoption and the life it has given me. I know the damage of an abusive relationship and what that environment could have done to my daughter if I had stayed. Abusers rarely change their habits, as my ex clearly demonstrated 13 years later. The abuse usually carries over to the child and statistics show the pattern will then continue with the child. I plead with the court that you allow Stacey Doss to continue to raise Vanessa in the loving, stable and nurturing environment that she has been giving her for the past two years of this child’s life. To rip this two year old from her mother at the most crucial stages of her development will have everlasting effects that will only magnify the feelings of abandonment all adoptees have in varying degrees.
I do not know nor have I ever met Stacey Doss. Her story personally affected me and compelled me to not sit idly by without at least appealing to the courts. I hope and pray that you will see the long term effects this decision will have on Vanessa. Please, keep her with her mother, Stacey.
Sincerely,
Lesli XXXXX
I have called both courts and signed the petition. I am also posting your plea onto my facebook page and encouraging others to do the same. I am NOT a mother…I have no children. So, while I can’t empathize with the pain you are going through, I definitely sympathize with you. I am a child advocate and an advocate for the prevention of child abuse and domestic violence. I am horrified by what I have seen related to this case. It is absolutely disgusting and beyond horrific to think that any court would take a child away from a loving family to put her into the horrors of the foster care system. And, it’s even more disgusting to think that the same court system would consider giving her into the arms of a man who can’t take care of the children he has and who has been arrested numerous times for domestic violence and child endangerment. WHAT ON EARTH HAS OUR WORLD COME TO…….WE NEED TO PROTECT THE MOST VULNERABLE IN OUR SOCIETY (AKA: THE CHILDREN) RATHER THAN TAKING THAN OUT OF GOOD SITUATIONS AND INTO ONES THAT COULD BE DESTRUCTIVE. You are both in my prayers.
God Bless,
Kathy
Dear Stacey,
My heart aches for you. I know you through Lesley who now nannies for me. I adopted a little boy at birth and raised him for 2.5 years and lost him to our corrupt Orange County Court system. I’m sure Lesley has told you my story about little Michael.
Keep up your fight, Stacey. I think going public is a smart thing to do. I didn’t have the strength and often wish I would’ve have told the world my story with the hope that it would make a difference in the court system. I never once got to talk to a judge and speak my case. My story went untold and is in some thick law book now on an attorney’s bookcase. TELL THE WORLD and DON’T GIVE UP.
If you ever need someone to talk to who’s been in your shoes, please get in touch with me through Lesley. I will pray for you and your little girl.
I support you FULLY to go into hiding should the worst happen. This is for her safety, not just because you don’t want to lose your daughter. I would definitely do the same if it were my child.
Stacey,
I am the grandmother of an adopted little boy who is about the same as your precious child. He is the joy of my life, so I can certainly relate to what you are feeling. I do not understand the justice system. I do not understand the father either, I do understand that he is a very selfish man, and he is not thinking about his child. I will be praying that the courts will rule in your favor. This beautiful little girl needs to be with you!
Stacy, I dont know you but found this awful situation on facebook. I signed the petition. I have a foster son who has R.A.D. and looks as if he will never be a typical child. I pray pray pray this does not happen to your sweet baby girl.. We will keep you in our prayers… Monica-Dayton-Ohio
I am blown away on how our judicial system can even THINK about taking this child away from the only parent she has ever known. Children Services is not there to protect the child – it is to protect their name. If they wanted to protect the child – they would leave the child with the mother while this is worked out in the court system. Our court system is a joke – it protects the rights of the wrong people – people who are criminals and repeat offenders. You have a person that is doing something good in this world and she is being penalized for it. She obviously went through the proper channels for this adoption. If the biological mother lied about who the father was- the courts should look into action against her. I mean she did a GREAT thing – giving a child up if she is unable to care for her. That is one of the most wonderful things a person can do – but to lie and say you don’t know who the father is…..the most innocent person in all of this mess is a young child, a child that is depending on her MOTHER to protect her. The children services need to back off – go take care of the children that parents are selling their toys, food and other belongings for drugs. Get those children into good homes. Bottom line – children services want the children kept with their biological parents no matter if it is good for them or not. Vanessa should say with Stacey – this is a no brainer!
I am so sorry…. I live in Dayton and know the birth parents. I pray you get to keep her….. I will write to the courts and pray for you
I literally teared up reading this. I have a 2 year old boy and if anyone ever tried to take him from me, I would pity that person for what I would do to them. You are a bigger person than I am, I would already be out of the country with my baby by now! I will pray that this works out for you and Vanessa… I live right outside if Dayton OH and I swear I will be protesting this outside of the courthouse on July 16!!! Did they ever think there was a reason for the birth mother lying about this? Maybe she just wanted her child to be safe and knew that was the way to do it! You are an incredible mother for fighting this so hard, and have hope… you will have your baby girl safe and sound after all! God bless you Stacy!
I am going through a similar situation here in Pennsylvania. My heart goes out to Stacey as I truly know what she is going through.
Biological mom had twin boys here in PA. She moved to Texas and gave one of the boys up for adoption through an adoption agency. She told us dad didn’t want anything to do with the child. She moved to PA with one of the boys and decided she didn’t want to parent him and she gave her rights up to us. We contacted the agency to try to get the other twin ( who was not with a permanent family yet) and we said that we were adoption one of the boys and wanted to adopt the other one as well. They refused to let us adopt that child, ( I can only assume as they knew that the PA baby wasn’t a resident of texas and they wouldn’t receive compensation)
I contacted biological dad and he agreed he couldn’t care for the child nor had he ever. Therefore we proceeded with the adoption. Biological mom got mad at us and wanted $$ and other things and when we told her know she blackmailed us and told us that she would take our son away and that is what is going on right now.
She contacted the adoption agency that adopted out the one boy and they hired an atty for biological dad so he can get his rights back to our son so he can give him away to another family. We are curently waiting for the superior court to render a decision. Our son Brandon in 20 months and has been with us since he was 6 months old.
Dear Stacey,
As an adoptive mother, I had an almost identical situation when I adapted my 2 year old Daughter. (Birthparents are: Dad is African-American, Mom is Caucasian, the Dad was inn and out of jail, the Dad wanted to get back “his daughter”, after he learned, the Birth Mom gave the baby up for adoption, etc. We had to fight for our daughter in Court, and we thought this night-mare never will end…)
Fortunately we found a great lawyer, who helped us to win our case.
Please contact me, if you think, I can help you any way!
Looking forward to hear from you,
Timea
I know the grandmother of his other children. He doesn’t have or want custody of his kids that live down the road. He doesn’t pay for food or healthcare. The taxpayers of in Montgomery County are. How can a man, that doesn’t raise any of his multiple children, much less pay for any of them , have any right. If she comes back to Ohio, she will be another welfare/foodstamp statistic. Him nor his family, should be given any right right until he pays back EVERY CENT THE AMERICAN TAXPAYERS HAVE HAD TO PAY FOR THE MULTIPLE CHILDREN he donated sperm to be born, cared for and feed. If he had any heart, he would have the 2 children his mother is raising. You need to fight every step of the way for Vanessa. I’ve seen her sisters.
I am worried that the Register may have taken your quote our of context regarding that you would flee. This could give CPS the right to come in and take the child without warning. I would request a retraction or a restatement and have it field with the court. Maybe answer something like,” I have always followed the law and will continue to.”
Another thougth. Would the birth mom come out and live with you for a while? That might change which court has jurisdiction. Also, I believe Riverside Superior Court handles adoption anf guardianship cases quite well and follow the intent of the law that the child’s intrest be put first.
I listened to John and Ken today. Then I came home and made my $100 donation.
My prayers are also with you.
Jake Schwartzberg
When you have to spend $100,000 to get a simple decision made, the legal system is broken.
It’s clear you care about YOUR daughter. You exerted yourself above and beyond what some biological parents would do to keep their kids. I know you are stressed about the situation, but just have faith that it will work out for your daughters best interest, which I believe in this case is to stay with you! Try to just focus on the time you have with her now on her, as that is what she needs right now. God Bless! (You have a ton of people’s support, stay positive).
Hi Stacey-
I can’t tell you how my heart is breaking for you and how angry I am that this is happening. I was adopted at five days old – also from out of state. (I don’t even have medical records). I consider my parents my birth parents. Not that it could happen because of how closed the adoption was, but even now at the age of 40, if the person who gave birth to me ever decided to contact me I’d be livid, almost to the point of angrily reactionable. Not only is it an invasion of privacy for me and my life, but also for my parents, who gave me EVERYTHING and continue to do so. I can’t help but feel that Vanessa’s unfit, loser ‘father’ (and I use that very lightly – if he cared so much, why didn’t he fight to get custody of her two years ago) is doing this for media attention not even taking into account that his actions are affecting everyone attached to you and the little one. Obviously, I have a very strong opinion on this because it does hit close to home. Vanessa is at the age that she will remember this. I only hope and pray that you don’t get some dumb-ass conservative male judge in Ohio who can only read black & white legalese and can truly assess that you are the only mother (and father) Vanessa knows who can nurture and care for her best interests.
Believe…keep fighting…victory will prevail. If you need anything or another advocate, I’d be honored to tell my story on your behalf.
FIGHT ON!!
Stacey,
We are in a very similar situation!
My wife and I were matched with a 16 year old birthmother (Both parents are deceased) in PA one year ago through an adoption agency with the intent to adopt her newborn daughter. The agency failed in every possible way, but my wife and I formed a strong (Or so we thought) bond with the BM and we decided we would pursue the adoption through the “System” here in CA. We wrote off the $30k we had expended between the agency, travel, lodging, etc. and vowed to just look forward towards adoption through the County of Riverside.
At birth, the BF convinced the BM to back out of the situation and sell the baby to another family, willing to pay more in “Birthmother Expenses” that the agency had lined up. We were literally walking out of the hospital with our newborn daughter when the phone rang. “The BM has changed her mind!”, the social worker at the hospital explains. Fortunately, I explained the entire situation to the social worker and our baby girl was taken into CPS custody there in PA, thwarting the BF’s effort to profit.
The BM does her few bullshit classes, and gets the baby back within a week.
Hospitalized for diaper rash due to pure neglect, and problems with breathing, we begin pleading and begging the BM to reconsider and she agrees…she does not want to nor does she have the ability to care for her and does indeed want us to adopt her as she has stated all along this journey.
Three months pass…
The presumed father, a 24 year old criminal, threatened us with ill will if we did not meet his demands for pay-off. We filed police reports, provided the written (Yes we had it all in his pen) evidence to the authorities, but no further action was taken.
My wife flew back to PA where she met the BM. The BM, not being able to care for her and wanting us to have her, handed my wife the most beautiful 3 month old baby girl for an “Extended Visit” in CA.
Long story short…Riverside County CPS helped us by preparing a well written breif which was provided to the court, which I believe, had a significant influence over the court’s decision to grant us temporary custody until the adoption.
After both biological parents provided statements to CPS that they do not/cannot care for our daughter and wish for us to adopt her, they have since changed their minds and want to participate in all of the services CA has to offer in reunification!
I will be watching your case closely, and pray for you and your daughter. Don’t give up hope!
NRG
this is ridiculous what the courts want to do! the man is unfit. it is not in the best interest of the child. i thought the courts always rule in the best interest of the child. please win this case. i signed your petition. i will write a letter to the court but thought i needed your case number no? hear you on the john and ken show, my favorite.
As a mother of three daughters this story tears at my heart. I pray that you will prevail and you can keep your beautiful girl. Like so many Americans I am disturbed at how legalistic our courts are and how common sense seems to be abandoned. Activist judges make horrible decisions that are not in the best interest of the children because they want to make some social or political statement. I have had enough of this insanity and I support you 100%. I have donated to your case and I will tell my friends and family of your story so they to can help fight this injustice. I will continue to pray for you and your daughter. God Bless!
Stacey,
I hope and pray that you are granted the right to keep your daughter! I went to school with Jamie, and I can honestly tell you that, he has never led a productive or promising life. As far back as Junior High School, he was always in trouble for one thing or another. Huber Heights police probably know him better than his parents, because, he spent so much time in the back of their cruisers. I see no reason to give him any rights to your child, when he can’t even be a father to the other children he has. It’s ridiculous that this is even an issue. She will end up mentally unstable if she is placed with his family. Why add another Jamie to society? Can he provide for her at all? Not too many felons have decent jobs….oh, I forgot, his mom will take her too. I pray your daughter does not have to suffer for the likes of a man who had no more respect for her birth mother than to abuse and belittle her! She’s perfect where she’s at….with her MOMMY!!!
I just watched your story on FOX 11 news and I am deeply moved by it. I hope everything will be in your favor and that Vanessa continues to grow with such a devoted person like yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Stacey,
You are me 9 months ago. I too fought the same fight you are in now. Our sons was 17 months old when he was ripped from our loving family that he had been part of since he was born. I feel your awful pain and I am watching the news and websites hoping for a better outcome for you than the one we recieved in our family. We were in and out of court for 13 months. Please keep me posted. Laws obviously need to be changed I just don’t know where to start. If there is ANYTHING I can do to help. Please let me know.
If this little girl’s birth father, or anyone who knows him, reads this site: please take a good look at the pictures of this happy little girl with her mommy.
She is obviously so loved, cherished and well cared for.
To a child, their mommy is the center of the universe. She has been there every single day, as I calculate the more than 730 days of this child’s life, tucking her into bed at night, taking her to the doctor, wiping her nose, cutting up apples for her, taking her to the park, kissing her sweet cheek. She always knows how to make things better for her child. Mom knows her favorite songs, whether she loves to splash in the bath or hates having her hair washed, how she likes to be held when she wants comfort or a cuddle, how to make her laugh.
This little girl knows just how her arms will feel when they’re around Mommy’s neck, and she feels safe when Mommy holds her, and if you take her away, it will shatter her world. She won’t know why Mommy isn’t there anymore and she will be desperate and grieving. This is not a puppy. This is a little human being who needs and deserves the security that only her mom can provide. Please don’t damage her in this way. As another parent, who doesn’t even know this family but knows how devastated my children would be if this happened to them, I am begging you: let her stay with her mommy.
I wrote the Court of Orange County and recieved a letter back from them saying that the judge would not read my letter so they sent my letter back to me. The letter said that the judge could not consider my letter or any other letter as we have to follow correct procedures. We have to fill out correct paperwork, file the paperwork and have someone who in not in the case give a copy to the other people in the case or to the other person’s attorney. I think this is wrong.So much red tape
My wife and I heard the interview on KFOAM. Our jaws nearly hit the floor of the car. We are happy to donate to your effort, to sign the petition and to encourage you to stay very strong in this…I don’t know any power brokers in Ohio but if I did, I’d sure contact them. Somehow, this needs to be elevated above some ordinary interpretation of parental law. There is a child’s life at stake. We don’t want any more sad stories of lost and forgotten kids who wind up badly damaged. God Bless you and Vanessa.
I can’t believe that our money is wasted on a system that runs like this. The foster care system doesn’t need another child that they can’t take care of.
What a waste of time, money and energy. Why won’t judges and people put in the authority do what is common sense and that is leaving this child in the hands of someone who has shown nothing but love and devotion to this little girl.
My prayers and thoughts go to you and your battle. God bless you.
I adopted two children years ago through Montgomery County Courts. In both cases, the birthmother had not signed over rights to the child by the end of the 6 month waiting period. We waited more. Our lawyer told us in the courthouse hall after meeting with the judge for the second adoption that “things looked shaky, and we should leave the state.” We did, and fortunately, the birthmother signed while we were out of town. We learned later the maternal grandmother wanted visitation rights like in a divorce. We’d have to give our daughter up every other weekend.
Montgomery County is the only county in Ohio with a 6 month waiting period. Other counties have a 3 day waiting period, and they do not recognize cases like this one. Montgomery County needs to get its act together when it comes to adoption procedures.
Until and unless this country begins to make decisions IN THE BEST INTEREST of children, our society will continue to cycle through abuse and irresponsibility. The ability to create a child does not automatically give you the ability or willingness to properly care for one, as we see so frequently. Just because you CAN have children does not mean that you should. What I wish for all children: love, security, and stability. Let this be a precedent for this.
-an adoptive mother of one beautiful, innocent, happy little boy
I work in the corrections system. I am all too familiar with those that say they have pride in their children yet fail to see them nor support them. For some a child is a badge of honor. I have one so that makes me a man/woman. Forget that they require round the clock supervision, medicine, clothing, nurturing. It’s enough to say that they are yours. Some play the system saying I have to take care of my kids, help me out, help me out. Only to go back to the streets and the life. Some are good parents caught in unfortunate choices. But what do you say about the crack addict who gets out of jail and instead of going to see her children gets high and dies of an overdose? This is the reality of some of their lives. This story made me very angry and very sad. What does the dad really want? Is it his daughter or another badge to say “that’s mine”. Could it be for the payoff he thinks is coming his way and is his due before he gives up the right to her? One can only fathom to guess his motivation. I will keep you in prayer. May you and your angel have a long life together.
Rosie O’Donnell is a huge advocate of adoption and I bet if she heard your story I’m sure she would talk about it on her nationally syndicated radio program on Sirius Sattelite. I’m thinking that this is may be a good way to garner even more support and donations to fight. I wish you the best of luck!
Stacey, I am doing all that I can to spread your story. This is so sad, and shameful that this man wants his mother to raise little Vanessa, and not himself. I hope the courts see through his lies to see what he is after, destroying a wonderful life given to Vanessa by you, Stacey. Little Vanessa is such a sweet little girl who deserves the whole world, something her father can not do for her. I could have been in a situation like this, my dads parents would have raised me, if my mom did not step in and shut them down. You and your little girl are on my thoughts until this horrible mess gets settled, probably even way past that. Keep your head up, keep fighting the fight, and you will win full custody of Little Vanessa.
Stacey
This continues to break my heart and it is only the very tip of the iceberg – how many people have walked in your shoes and know every word of your story, as their own? I (like too many others) had no idea this was such a prevalent situation.
I know the pain of having a two year old child ripped from my arms – taken back after a mentally unbalanced mother “changed her mind” – our situation was very different – but the pain is the same. I know how strong the love for a child is – whether she grows in your womb or grows in your heart – she is your daughter, you are her mother. I will continue to tell your story – as I wait for “And They Lived Happily Ever After!”
http://my.nowpublic.com/culture/adoptive-parent-stacey-doss-becomes-crusader-operation-vanessa
http://my.nowpublic.com/health/court-appeals-rules-vanessa-doss-stays-ca-now
Hi! I live in Dayton, and I have been following your story. CSB……Montgomery County Courts? UGH! We have had legal custody of a sibling group…the youngest since infancy. The older child has severe RAD which was so bad she could no longer live in our home. She’s been gone for a year. We filed to adopt the youngest, but were told we have to wait for CSB to take permanent custody of the older child, and it could be 2+ years!! We have been told by MANY, professionals and non, that Montgomery County ANYTHING is one of the screwiest systems around.
I pray to God you are able to keep Vanessa exactly where she is…where she needs to be and where she belongs. I am ashamed to say I live in this county. Read in our paper the other day that WE, the citizens have been paying for the bio-dads trips to see Vanessa. Are you kidding me?
With my experience with what we have been going thru for the past 6 years, the bio parents, don’t want the kids back, they just want to see them whenever they feel like it. If Vanessa’s bio dad was an actual productive citizen of society and didn’t know about the bio mom’s pregnancy, I might see things slightly differently. But yeah, criminal violent background, open cases with CSB regarding other children, can’t afford to fly himself out to see his child…..hmmm. Is there something just insanely wrong with all of that or is it just me?? Yes Ms. Stevens from CSB……..everyone realizes the bio-dad is just that, but go ahead and fight for reunification, and you will have another open case to add. When I was getting legal custody of our children, the bio-mom’s attorney asked me did I think children should be with their natural parents. Absolutely, but NOT IN ALL SITUATIONS! And this is one of them!
If the bio-dad happens to read these posts……PLEASE! If you love your child, the best thing you can do for her is leave her alone!!!! She is in a home where she is loved and taken care of.
I will continue to pray for you Ms. Doss and YOUR beautiful child. I also am praying the bio-dad will come to his senses. Bio mom….if you read these posts, just know I for one commend you. Don’t know your circumstances, but I feel you did the right thing. I am praying for you as well!
Montgomery County……..this town gets enough publicity. Do the right thing and let this family move on and have a normal life. Ms. Doss is trying to keep a child out of our systems…….seems like you all want to keep her in it.
been following the story the state of ohio has given this guy 4 paid trips to see his daughter. wasted money in my opinion . why ? because he wants to give custody to his mother . why take this child from a loving home to live on welfare and still not have a father so whats the point case dismissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Stacey, I have a story very similar to yours. We went through the system in Ohio. Foster to Adopt through children services. Birth parents had a long history of DV, didn’t have custody of any of their children. Paternal grandparents popped up, had custody of two of our son’s siblings, petitioned for custody of him too. Everything looked stacked against us. Some foster parents all along the way had heard our story, we were the family who would attend a foster parent event, and people had heard our story. They’d say, “Oh, YOU’RE the ones? We heard about you.” Many of the foster parents who had been around much longer than we had said the same thing, “If God intends for that child to remain with you, that’s where he’ll be.” There were some strange turns of events, but our son stayed with us. We finalized his adoption a month after his 2nd birthday. There were other cases in our county that had drawn out for years, mainly to avoid attachment and bonding disorder issues. The longer they dragged out, the longer the child remained in the stable home environment, the more bonding occurred, just strengthening those ties. I sincerely believe you and Vanessa will be together. It would take one insane judge to decide otherwise given the facts of your case. Email me if you want, I can share more details there. I wish the very best for you and Vanessa.
Hi Stacey,
I want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. As an adopted daughter raising an adopted daughter I know more than anyone how important it is the Vanessa stay with you. Your love for her is exactly what she needs. It will break my heart to here that the courts allowed a convicted felonist to rip her from your arms and home. I remember the day you told me you were bringing her home and to see you here after two years breaks my heart. If I can help in anyway please ask! Vanessa belongs in your arms!!!!
Denelli Ellison (DeeDee Hoefer)
Stacey, you and Vanessa are in our thoughts and prayers…
Stacy,
I was adopted and raised in Dayton, Ohio, left after my marriage with my husband to Germany, but came back home again later to raise our daugher.
I can’t imagine how your heart must be absolutely breaking,(mine too). I just want to say that I can’t believe that our Dayton Courts would actually give Vanessa to Mr. Mills. He doesn’t even have custody, pay any kind of child support, or even visit and spend any ‘QUALITY’ time with these other children. What makes our “wise and wonderful” court system think that just becasue Vanessa starts living with him that that will somehow ‘change’ him to be a “responsible” father? I just don’t get this, and I believe that our Montgomery County,Ohio court doesn’t either or they would have stopped his patition before it “EVER” got to this stage. And I’m hoping to be at the court house again tomorrow. I think and believe with everyone’s prayer’s that we can make them see the error of their ways in trying to even “think about” giving Vanessa to Mr. Mills.
Good Luck and God Bless you all.
the system is broken. illogical. pathetic. it’s supposed to help protect the children, yet stories like this breaks my heart when it does the complete opposite… may God bless you, your family, and vanessa….
I am an adoptive mother of three boys, each adopted at birth. . . I feel your pain. Did bio-dad sign away his parental rights? We had to hire a private investigator to track down and get a signature from on our first adoption. The second and third signed willingly.
Stacey,
I read your struggles your currently facing through a Face book friend, and it broke my heart. Blood has little to do with who is the mommy who provides a loving nurturing home for a child. I cannot believe with the biological father’s record of domestic abuse, in front of his children no less, that any judge would allow him anywhere near this beautiful little girl. It breaks my heart that your beautiful little girl might be torn from your arms.
When I was in my early twenties, I was in a abusive relationship with my ex boyfriend. We had two children together. After we had the first child, he left me abused and pregnant. At the time my ex boyfriend made my life, as well as our small son’s life, a living hell. I wanted to put my second son up for adoption because of the violence, I was on welfare, and lived in a small trailer. I couldn’t afford to support the one child I had, and wanted a better life for my second child. My oldest son had many problems because of the violence, he reverted back to diapers, refused to talk, and was fearful because of the violence he had witness between my ex and I. I didn’t want my second son to be faced with the trauma and heartache my oldest son went through. I found an adoption agency, and even a family that I was interested in my son being adopted by. My ex boyfriend refused to sign over his rights. He threatened to take custody if I signed over my rights to our child.
He didn’t financially support his first son, he abused me in front of him, he made both of us live in fear. I used to think he would come over and kill me and Jesse. My second son could have had a wonderful life with two loving parents that could give him the life I couldn’t. But my ex was a selfish, and refused to sign over his rights, even though it was in child’s best interest.
I kept Justin, my second son, out of fear of my abusive ex boyfriend, and his family getting custody of him. So out of fear I kept him. I strongly disagree with protecting the biological rights of unfit parents, such as your daughter’s biological father. If he cannot support his children financially, and currently doesn’t have custodial custody of his other children, than he shouldn’t have any rights to this little girl. The biological mother did what she thought was best for her child, and gave her to a family that could give her a safe loving home.
Men like this make me so angry. He is selfish, hateful, evil, and only thinks of himself. Just like my immature ex boyfriend. My oldest son eventually lived with my parents because that was the only place he ever felt safe. He is now clinically depressed, and struggling in school. Justin, my second son was lucky, because he doesn’t remember the abuse, because he was young enough to remember when it stopped. He has had to live many years while I financially struggled, and has a learning disability I think was caused by the stress of being pregnant with an abusive boyfriend. It took me years to become somewhat emotionally healthy after being in an abusive relationship, and it is hard on your children while your struggling with your own demons. Both boys had to live with an absentee father, that rarely bothered to see them much less, financially support them. Currently he owes in child support close to 70,000 dollars.
In cases of domestic abuse, a history of being a dead beat parent by not financially supporting your children, or the parent having alcohol or drug problems, I think that the father’s or mother’s rights should be terminated, if that child can find a loving adoptive home. How can tearing a child from the only parents she knows be in her best interest? The mother of the biological father cannot be any better than living with him! To this day, I don’t understand. The sad thing is too, that many states are cracking down on domestic violence, and removing children from the homes of women who refuse to leave abusive spouses. So, what I don’t understand, why hasn’t he been declared an unfit parent in this situation, if it sounds like he has already been found that for his current children?
My prayers are with you. I admire the biological mother for having the strength to provide her biological child with a loving, caring mother like you. I hope the court system doesn’t fail to do the right thing, and keep her beautiful girl with you. My heart bleeds for you, and what your facing. Be strong, and trust in God that He will see you and your daughter through this.
My best wishes for you and your daughter,
Steffanie
Your post brought tears to my eyes. Society needs to wake up and see that situations like yours happen every day. I am so glad that you have been able to get away from the abusive situation, but so sorry that your ex underminded your choices and wishes for your children. Just as you have shared, Vanessa’s plight is not an isolated incident. Abusive parents, mothers and fathers, all over are abusing the system and the courts uphold THEIR rights with little regard to the children’s needs. Hopefully this case is different.
What is a Mom?
A mom provides her daughter;love, safety, care & guidance to learn the important things in life to make her it happy, fulfilling & meaningfull.
A mom is a teacher to her daughter;
Be good, helpful to other people always treating them equally & have a positive attitude, try to make things right when they are wrong, know herself well, appreciate & know what her talents are, set goals for herself, be not afraid of working too hard to reach them.Have many interests to pursue, laugh & have fun every day, appreciate the beauty in all things, enter into friendships with good people, honor their friendships, be a good friend, use her intelligence all times, listen to her emotions & adhere to her values.
Be not afraid & stick to her beliefs, do not follow the majority when the majority is wrong, carefully plan a life for herself & follow her path, enter into a relationship with someone worthy of herself, love this person unconditionally with her body & mind, share with them what she has learned in her life. SMD
This… this is Stac… this is Stacey and Vanessa!
God gave me 3 Grandchildren………The same way as Vannesa.
God will get your daughter back…..Just let us all know where to be and when! I will be there for you and YOUR daughter!
I was driving home from work this afternoon when I came to a red light. Looking around at all the other cars, I saw an SUV with a website, OperationVanessa.com, on the back. I instantly grabbed my phone to check out the site that this fellow motorist had across his wondow. When I got home I read through your story and was very upset at how this could happen. Being a mother myself of a 5 month old girl, I was instantly thrown into a whirlwind of emotion. I couldn’t do anything but pray and plee with God that your baby girl would be protected from her father, the law, and anything or anyone else that may harm her and keep her from you, her own mother. That He would love her, that He would always be with her, that He would always protect her, that He would continue to provide for her. Even though I do not know you, and probably will never meet you, I will love you, I will keep you in my thoughts and always in my prayers.
Stacey~ I want you to know, that this evening, I wrote my letter to the Montgomery County Juvenile Court- I BEGGED them to leave this sweet, innocent little Angel, with her MOTHER, where she belongs!!!! I will be at The Central in Kirkland in September, for a fundraiser to help you save your home and pay this hideous legal fees!!! I too, am disgusted with our legal system, but I do have a strong faith, that you are gonna win this!!!!! Keep your head held high, there are SO any of us out there, rooting for you, and doing what we can….from afar!! [I think you should call the Dr Phil show!!!]
Wishing you the very best. Lots of love and support from Seattle, WA
~D. Uttech
Stacey, I continue to think of you and your ordeal. I am currently in the midst of a contested adoption case myself and found this article. I don’t kow if it will do us any good ,but it is called C is for Constitution in contested adoption cases. It states that children have a right under the 14th Amendment not to be taken out of their loving homes because some adult has rights to them. They are not property, they are children and have a right to not be traumatized. It is a long article. Look it up. Hope this helps.
That this is even an issue is unconscionable. I honestly don’t understand why courts throw out common sense in the name of the law. Obviously, Vanessa has a mother who loves her yet the courts have actually considered putting her in a foster home or turning her over to a man with a history of domestic violence, instability and “deadbeat fatherhood”? Obviously this man only wants her as a matter of narcissistic pride. Ridiculous. I can’t even find the words. Best of luck to you in your quest to keep your daughter.